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Post by Silverstream on Jun 7, 2006 7:24:41 GMT -5
You still have a few spelling mistakes, Frostfur, and you're missing a codeword. Check the rules, I think, because something's missing on this thread, and check the plot if you can't find the other codeword.
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Frost
Apprentice
Posts: 57
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Post by Frost on Jun 8, 2006 6:01:49 GMT -5
ok, i put the other 'codeword' into the bio. NOW what?
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Post by Flintpelt [Spideh] on Jun 8, 2006 9:08:38 GMT -5
Please don't snap. We're only doing our work.
Your appearance is...
Boring.
Yes, I know that's harsh. But it is. She, she, she, she, she... always she. Why don't you say 'the ivory feline' or 'the tidy she-cat', or even her name. Also, some things still need to be capitalized.
In your RP example, you controlled Hawkstar. Unless he/she has given consent to this, you are not allowed to do so. It is powerplaying. You also controlled the enemy cats, and Streamheart. Not allowed. Make an RP example where you only control yourself. Vocabulary could also be a bit more varied, and there are a few spelling mistakes.
Why did you say she had sharp claws in the personality? That's appearance.
The picture section is missing.
The title of the thread is still missing something. Look in the rules.
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Post by Silverstream on Jun 9, 2006 11:28:09 GMT -5
*coughs* You don't need to have pictures. It is optional. I put it there because a lot of people had cats that had pictures.
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Post by Flintpelt [Spideh] on Jun 9, 2006 11:32:10 GMT -5
Aaaah...
Okee. Then that thing's fine :3 But the rest needs to be fixed unless someone says otherwise.
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Frost
Apprentice
Posts: 57
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Post by Frost on Jun 10, 2006 5:46:33 GMT -5
WHY DOES IT MATTER IF IT'S BOORING!!!  ? |
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Post by Silverstream on Jun 10, 2006 8:42:21 GMT -5
Frostfur, calm down. We are just trying to help you become a better rper. Just change a few of the 'she's to Frostfur, or other adjectives, look over your spelling, and fix the rp example.
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Post by Katze on Jun 10, 2006 12:53:22 GMT -5
After just reading the appearence, I saw that she had lived through an adder bite?
Nuh-uh.
Not even any of the cats in the books have lived from one. PLease change that.
You also have to read the rules.
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Post by Silverstream on Jun 10, 2006 13:41:45 GMT -5
I think that that could happen Krova, if the adder was very old, and a medicine cat had come to her rescue almost immediately...
((Baby adders can't control their poison outtake, so they release all the poison they have in one bite. That's why it can't be a baby adder.))
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Post by The Everlasting SUNNEH. on Jun 10, 2006 19:41:41 GMT -5
I know this isn't my place, but I just wanted to congradulate Frostfur for being such a good sport! You would really need it to go through all those corrections.  You can delete this if you want. |
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Post by Silverstream on Jun 10, 2006 20:52:49 GMT -5
Nope! It's fine if you comment here! I just have to start meh friend's thread...
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Frost
Apprentice
Posts: 57
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Post by Frost on Jun 11, 2006 6:22:38 GMT -5
sorry i snapped... i'll try my best....not to, i guess.
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Post by The Everlasting SUNNEH. on Jun 11, 2006 7:43:09 GMT -5
Don't worry Frostfur. Your almost done! I'm going to go now, so I don't get in the way. I just wanted Frostfur to know that she is a good sport to be doing all these corrections.  Bye now. |
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Post by Katze on Jun 11, 2006 12:48:27 GMT -5
The only thing I see wrong now is the length of the Personality. Add, at least, one more line and that should accept you. Unless there are Spelling Mistakes in there..
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Frost
Apprentice
Posts: 57
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Post by Frost on Jun 12, 2006 14:56:55 GMT -5
ok, i made the personality longer. it that all?pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease say that it is!!!!!!!!!!!!
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You can delete this if you want. 
Bye now.