Thread for Shadeh - Crescentkit:ShadowClan:tom

[Flintpelt [Spideh]]

There ya go :33
Post away!

[Shadepelt]

Thankies Spideh! ;D

Name: Crescentkit
Do you honor?: yes
Age: 4 moons
Gender: Tom
Appearance: Crescentkit looks like, well, a kit. Feather-like fur covers the majority of his body, twisting in spirals every here and there. Dark storm clouds seem to stretch from the tip of his tender, black nose, over his shoulders, around his belly, drape over strong haunches, all the way to the tip of his long, whip-like tail. Abnormally large ears crown his majestic cranium, pink skin coating the inside, grey covering the outside. The young kit's shoulders and haunches look quite strong and muscular for his young age, with still developing muscles chiseled beneath a strong hide. Being very lean, with long, powerful stomach muscles, any enemy warrior would have a hard time ripping down to the important organs of the body, not that that will happen for many moons. From a bird-eye's view, you would be able to see a white-furred crescent moon shape on the top of the feline's haunches, hence the name. Such limbs that hold up such a magnificent body, would have to be just as superb, and that explains this kit's limbs exactly. A normal length, they aren't the best for running long distances. But, since they are very heavily muscled, these powerhouses of strength are supreme at leaping, sprinting, and kicking out when in battle. At the tips of his limbs, are very large paws, which of sometimes he is teased about. Not caring one bit, this kit loves his paws, they are perfect for jumping, climbing, and padding over wet marshland. Crescentkit's eyes are a masterpiece to behold, and are the finishing touches on a perfect future warrior. Even though they are slightly larger then normal, it gives them a look of pure wisdom, and more knowledge then a kit should have. Oculars are blue with a glint of silver, which give the impression of a moon made of steel, with jet-black slashes down the latitude of the eyes.
RP Example: A dark, choking blanket of mist had sunk down from the sky, bringing with it an uncomfortable humidity. A form slowly padded, or more like floated, just outside of the nursery. The form was in fact a feline, a young kit by sight, and a tom by scent. Steely blue-silver orbs flicked from the overhead sky, to the near-earth clouds before him, amazed by the fact that clouds were so close to the ground. Humidity didn't worry the kit, he didn't seem to even notice the drops of cold rainwater clinging to his feathery pelt. Jaw agape in a grin of awe, the young tom's paws twitched, waiting to explore, and feel the clouds. A hop-skip later, Crescentkit leaped straight up, twisting around in joy, strong legs kicking out every which way. From ground, you could no longer see the ShadowClan kit, for he was enveloped in the dense, thick mist. The only evidence of his presence was the high pitched squeal of delight, and the black shadow on the moist earth beneath him. After several moments of pure happiness and exuberant delight, the small scrap returned to earth, claws outstretched to as it to catch the earth that was hurtling toward him. The small, strong body rolled with the impact, perfectly, after many fighting practices with his littermates. When once again upright, the lean, fluffy feline turned his head to look behind him, and saw the crescent-shaped white spot on the back of his haunches, then a small smile grew on his jaw. The kit was very proud of his mark, he felt it made him more unique then any other, and he thought, That is something special, something to be proud of! The novice ShadowClan cat turned tail, and with one last look at the dark grey sky, vanished into the warm, dry nursery.
The nursery seemed like a different world than the outside, dry, warm, and filled with sleeping queens and kits. After the short yet memorable outing, Crescentkit's eyes were beginning to feel heavy, and the energy began to leave him. Silent as an owl in flight, the young tom maneuvered his way over toward his mother, and smiled broadly. He wasn't supposed to go out alone, but nothing could stop him. He was a born adventurer, and he lived for breath-taking moments like that. Weary, large paws carried him over to his mother's side without a second thought, and he sank into the warm nest, and curled up tight, like a mouse sleeping in the winter. A dreamless night let the ShadowClan kit sleep undisturbed, and more energy seeped into his body, just waiting to be released, like a tightly coiled spring.
Clan: ShadowClan
Rank: Kit
Breed: Unknown
Personality: Like any young tom, Crescentkit completely and utterly loves amusement, fun, and attention. A good laugh is the highlight and goal of his day, and will do anything to achieve it, even by making mouse-brained mistakes on purpose. Crescentkit's laugh is truly unique, starting at a deep rumble inside the throat, then a slight, tingling chuckle, with a final crescendo into a full-hearted, throw back your head laugh. His silver-blue eyes are almost always sparkling with happiness, or some kind of other good kind of mood. Often he hears how ShadowClan has a bad reputation for being cold-hearted and vicious, but he simply puts a smile on his small jaw, and thinks I'm not like that, and that's what matters! That is one of his main policies in life, at least when he's thinking about a bad or mean tempered cat. With all these good qualities, this kit will most likely be a great warrior some day; fair, just, and noble.
History: Crescentkit's history isn't that long, for he has only lived for four moons. When he was born, he started coming out the wrong way, haunches first instead of head first. The Medicine Cat had to turn him around by using his paws on his mother's abdomen, and turned him around just in time. By the time he was laying in the moss nest with his siblings, he was very pale, from lack of oxygen, and no-cat had hope that he would survive. StarClan granted him a miracle, and after a day of care in the Medicine Cat's den, he began to breathe normally. This young tom is truly a story of hope, and how StarClan can help even the tiniest kit. His lungs are now strong from his near-death experience, and he is able to breath easily in the most humid air, not like normal kits.
Pictures: None.

[Katze]

Whoa. I see everything in length to be grand. But you have to wait for Spideh and Silver to do the Spelling and Grammar. ;D

[Flintpelt [Spideh]]

Oooo...
Beautiful. Plain beautiful.
However, quite a few minor mistakes.
Line 16 of the Appearance, this phrase:
'Crescentkit's eyes are the a masterpiece to behold'
should be
'Crescentkit's eyes are a masterpiece to behold' [no the]
or
'Crescentkit's eyes are the masterpiece to behold' [no a]
Also, this phrase, line 1 of the RP example:
'A dark, choking blanket of mist had sank down from the sky'
should be
'A dark, choking blanket of mist had sunk down from the sky' [replace the 'a' in 'sank' with 'u']
Line 6 of the RP example:
'notice the drops of cold, rainwater'
should be
'notice the drops of cold rainwater' [no comma after cold]
Line 20 of the RP example:
'The nursery seemed like a different world then the outside'
should be
'The nursery seemed like a different world than the outside' [replace the 'e' of 'then' with 'a']
Line 25 of the RP example:
'large paws carried him over to beside his mother'
should be
'large paws carried him over beside his mother' [this one, however, should be used only in cases of extreme repetition. It's a bit strained on the grammar side. Delete the 'to' before 'beside']
or
'large paws carried him over to his mother's side' [change 'beside his mother' to 'his mother's side']
Otherwise, great vocabulary :33 I like it.

[Shadepelt]

-gapes- Eck, so many mistakes!
I fixed them all up, how about that?

And thanks, I like this one too. I've wanted to do a cutesy-nice kind of kit for awhile

[Flintpelt [Spideh]]

Tehehe x333
Yep! Perfect! Accepted!