Hope: We All Need Some

[Fernpaw]

The sun was nearly done with its waltz in the sky. As it slowly descended, the heat began to cool. Shadows lengthened, stretching across the camp, bathing it in darkness. The golden sandy floor of the camp turned a slight pink as the sky was bathed in the pastel colors of twilight.

A gray form sat completely still, watching as the blue sky transformed to stripes of purple, pink and then, slowly, a deep, deep midnight blue. One by one, small diamonds appeared, like the finishing touch on a masterpiece.

There was no air of a masterpiece about Hope. She looked as if a painter had painted the canvas a soft grey, then spilled several cans of paint and blotched the canvas with black and white. After that, obviously, any self-esteemed painter would've thrown the painting away.

Hope was a unique cat. Apart from her appearance, her ears were very large. They had the shape of a cat, but they were far to big for her head. They didn't make her look ugly, on the contrary. Hope had a special way with tilting her head at a cat that would instantly be described as endearing. Her tail was long, but not exceptionally so. The tip of the tail looked as if a Twoleg had dipped it in a can of black paint. Obviously, this could not happen, but that is what Hope's tail looked like.

At the present, Hope's tail was flicking back in forth, neck craned as the she-cat looked up at the sky watching the stars emerge. She was fascinated, yellow eyes sparkling as each star revealed itself. When her neck finally grew tired, Hope finally looked away from the brilliant night sky. She sighed, she was not tired, but so far as she could see, not cat was out.

((Haha! *laughs delightedly* I must say, this is probably one of my better posts. I don't know, though. *looks around* INPUT!))

[Aleen]

((yeah, you did really good!))

True, the sky was beautiful, sparkling with the many diamond-like stars that some cats claimed to be their warrior ancestors. This beauty was wasted on the tortoiseshell female who was calmly padding up behind the gray form. She was more interested in avoiding older cats than in admiring what was there every night. Glancing hastily around, she plopped down beside her Clanmate.

"You don't see anyone coming, do you?" she hissed into the other cat's ear. It seemed like lately it was getting harder to avoid the senior warriors when she wanted to. Emerald eyes darted around, searching. She was tired and didn't feel like dealing with some cat that expected her to do more. It was easier to come out of her usual silence and be able to relax than stay silent and stay on the lookout.

Her gaze shifted to the cat beside her, observing her with the optics she so often used to stare another cat down. Hope. Yes, that was the cat's name. They had met before, but their relationship didn't go beyond that. That wasn't surprising, since that was how it was with most other cats in RiverClan. The few who didn't fall under that category were considered enemies. Aleen had no friends.

[Fernpaw]

Hope shifted her gaze from the sky and the surrounding forest to the cat beside her. At the question, the she-cat swiveled her long ears. Since they were so large, she could hear better than almost any cat in the Clan. After a moment, she shook her head, "None." She didn't ask about the she-cat's question, she just took it in stride. Hope took a lot of things in stride.

She looked at her companion, searching for the right name that fight the face. Aleen. That was it. Her name was Aleen. Yellow orbs met emerald gaze, Hope never backed down to anything, and Aleen had better learn that the first thing. Tail flicked, the black tip making the end of her tail almost invisible. Hope looked back up at the sky, then spoke, "Busy night?"

[Aleen]

Tense muscles finally relaxed as the young warrior heard Hope's answer. Good, they must be busy at the moment. Unblinking gaze stayed locked on the other she-cat as Aleen gave her answer.

"No, not really. About the same as most."

Short and sweet, like most of the answers she gave. She had no need for long replies filled with feathery words and useless information. After saying what was needed, she let her eyes take over. They showed her emotions better than anything else and saved time and breath. Why other cats couldn't learn to do the same, she'd never know.

Tail flopping lazily around, Aleen followed Hope's gaze to the night sky. She almost gasped in astonishment. It truly was beautiful tonight, no matter how many times night had come and gone.

Wondering aloud, she asked, "Why do other cats think those could be our ancestors? It doesn't make any sense."

[Fernpaw]

Even though Hope believed in StarClan, she didn't really want to waste the words to explain. She just shrugged, the mysteries of the universe and StarClan were beyond her. If their ancestors chose to look down at them in the form of stars, that was all right with her. As long as they didn't occupy the bodies of prey, she would've felt guilty of eating somebodies ancestors.

Hope's ears swiveled as she listened to the night sounds. Suddenly, she stiffened, the relaxed. "No, no one's coming. Thought so, but no." She looked around. "No one out." She was stating the obvious, but hidden in those short words was the sentence Wow! Amazing no one's out to watch the view! She looked at Aleen, then back up at the sky. She would not start the conversation, no, she'd leave that up to Aleen.

[Aleen]

Silence reined between the two she-cats as they sat together. Aleen was usually quiet, though she often had much to say, and her mind was in other places right now, filled with thoughts of StarClan. Yes, she had once believed in them, honored them, but before her warrior ceremony, she had began to doubt. As she had said only moments before, it didn't make sense. A bunch of dead cats watching over the Clans? Yeah right! Still, what if they really did exist? Was she living a lie, and deep down she really did believe? It was so confusing. For so long she had been fighting against what could very well be the truth. This argument had been bouncing around in her head for quite awhile now.

Again simply thinking aloud, she questioned, "Do you believe in them?" Her voice was quiet, barely audible amid all the sounds of night.

[Fernpaw]

Hope's golden auds took on a startled expression at this forthright question. Choosing her words carefully, the she-cat took a deep breath and began to expalin.

"Yes," she mewed, "Yes, I do. I always like to think of the great warriors of the past watching over me and critising (sp?) my actions or praising me for a hunt well done. I don't know. For some reason, I've always had reason to believe in my ancestors. I've heard stories too, of dreams and prophecies given from StarClan. When I die, I pray that I am able to go to StarClan. If it's a legend or a myth, it's a very good one, and I will believe in it until the day I give up my life. It's nice to know that wherever you are, whatever you believe in, there's somecat out there that's watching over you.

"I didn't always believe in StarClan, you've probably guessed that from my name. Through my kithood all the way up to when I was newly made a warrior, I held nothing but scorn for my ancestors. Why would they care about an insignifigant cat like me? If they did care, why did I find my mother torn apart from dogs when I came to tell her that I was a warrior? They must be insane cats, if they were real. But, in time, I began to believe again. When I had lost all hope of a happy life, something was always there to encourage me. During the winter, when I was desperate to find some food for our starving Clan, a fat, plump rabbit appeared.

"I-I, now, believe in StarClan. They are truly great warrior ancestors." Hope subsided into silence. She had never spoke so much before in her life. She hoped Aleen appreciated even a little, her speech.

[Aleen]

Finally finding a reason to turn her gaze from the sky, Aleen look over at Hope with a look that she had never given another cat before. It was sort of thoughtful, curious, and maybe even hinting appreciation, though the tortoiseshell would never admit to it. No cat had given her such a simple explanation for believing in StarClan before, in fact no cat had given her any explanation for believing in StarClan before. Now, with a simple question that had slipped from her lips, Aleen had been given by this younger cat perhaps the most useful information any cat had ever given her. True, hunting, fishing, and defending herself were all important things to know, but the she-cat could have learned how to do them herself. Her mentor had simply sped up the process. What Hope had just told her, on the other hand, were words few cats could speak with full sincerity.

Emerald gaze stayed locked onto the mostly gray cat as their owner sat deep in thought. At last, the young she-cat opened her mouth to speak.

"I wish I had your faith. I-I," she sighed. "I don't know what to believe." Quickly looking away from her companion, Aleen waited, not knowing what to expect, Scorn, maybe? Never before had she let another cat know how she felt. Usually she kept on a sort of mask, hiding her confusion inside, never letting anything but a rebellious young she-cat show. This time it somehow felt alright to tell Hope, let her in on the secret. Feelings like this only added to the tortoiseshell's confusion. For once unwilling to meet the other cat's eye, she waited in silence for something to happen.

[Fernpaw]

Hope let out a comforting purr, "There's no shame in admitting confusion in one's self. It takes a great, strong-willed cat to expose her inner feelings to what she believes is the ridicule of others." The speckled she-cat kept her gaze locked on the shimmering tapestry of the night sky. She stayed quiet for a minute, before bursting out, "I wish that I was at least a little bit like you, Aleen!" Yellow orbs turned to her companion, for once the mask of indifference slipping away. "You look at me and you see a young she-cat, calm and quiet and maybe a bit reflective. But---that's not me at all! I'm afraid to expose my other side because I'm scared of what other cat's will think of me. You---you don't have any problem with that," the she-cat's voice held a tint of admiration. "You're able to say what you think and not be ashamed for it. That's what my other side is like, too. Sometimes, I'll snap back at cats in my mind, but I'm too afraid to be scorned by the Clan to let my other side show. How do you do it?"

Hope averted her yellow gaze away from the sky, and from her companion. She was suddenly intensely interested in a beetle scuttling over the bark of a tree a few tail-lengths away.

[Aleen]

Feeling slightly taken, the tortoiseshell she-cat searched for the right words. Was this how it felt to be a mentor? It was sort of... nice, having another cat looking up at you. For a moment, Aleen felt like she was missing out on something important, but the feeling passed and she at last decided on the right words. Turning to look at her companion, she began.

"Well, it's not always easy. I'm usually pretty quiet.... I guess to a point where I had a lot I felt like saying, and so I just said it. Some of the older cats don't like me now, but I don't mind so much. I said what I felt was true when I felt it was needed. Sometimes I actually do feel rebellious, but mostly I just feel... confused about the choices I have to make.... I don't know. I just... am worried that one day I'll be a cat that is someone totally different then who I really am."

As she finished, the young warrior felt relief settle over her. A small sigh escaped her lips. At last what she had so long kept boiling inside her was out in the open, revealed to another feline. It was hard to be alone, she realized. How did the loners do it? Somehow, even if no one liked her, it was nice to be in the company of her Clan. Hope was probably the closest thing to a friend Aleen had ever had, and at last she felt that she knew why cats needed one another's companionship. It was simply a feeling you had inside you that made it seem like everything would be okay. Another sigh slipped out of her maw and she turned again to look at the gleaming night sky.

[Fernpaw]

Hope cocked her head, considering. "I guess," she said slowly. "Do you just guess on when to actually spew out rebellious thoughts, or do you just spout them whenever you want to? See, that's what it is with me. I'm afraid I'll say the wrong thing at the wrong time, and it will be interpreted the wrong way and then my whole life goes up in smoke." Speckled coat bristled at the thought. Hope would fight to the death before she let her own Clan throw her out. No matter what happened, no cat or Clan had the right to throw her out like yesterday's garbage.

Hope sighed, looking back up at the sky. Unconsciously, she voiced Aleen's own thoughts. "It's kinda nice to have someone to talk to," she admitted hesitantly. "I don't have any friends in the Clan yet, so it's nice just to talk to a cat and share your feelings and listen to the others. Imagine being all alone, with no one to talk to!" She sighed again, looking back up at the deep blue tapestry of sky.

[Aleen]

Glancing for a moment at Hope, the young warrior answered her question.

"I think that you shouldn't worry about what other cats might think of what you'll say. If you feel it needs to be said, say it. Follow your instincts. You'll know when it's the right time to speak, even if it takes a moment to find the right words." Aleen almost added a little nod at the end of her sentence, as if to confirm what she just said, but she avoided it. The thoughts she had just shared were words from her heart, things she truly believed and didn't just say to try and make the speckled she-cat beside her feel better. Again, it felt nice to be able to share some of her deepest thoughts without any fear of criticism. Her tail flicked around lazily as the shimmering diamonds-like stars kept her twin pools of emerald locked upon them. Maybe there really was a StarClan, and maybe, just maybe, she could believe in them again. A small glimmer of hope showed it self, as real as the Hope that sat beside her. She might finally have found a pathway to travel down, rather than keeping up her endless rebellion. Just as soon as this thought crossed the she-cat's mind, hope faded, again leaving her in the darkness of confusion. How could she ever change from what she had made herself? She had gone too far. A yowl of misery ached to be released, but no amount of noise would change the fact that she had no future. The sky's beauty had vanished in the eyes of this lost warrior and she turned away from it.

"I'm going to sleep now," she said quietly over her shoulder as she padded toward the warriors' den. There was no need to stay here with Hope now. She would always be alone, that was a truth that no one could ever change.

[Fernpaw]

Hope nodded thoughtfully. What Aleen said made sense. As Aleen padded toward the Warrior's Den, Hope called over her shoulder, "Thank you!"

The speckled she-cat pondered the answers that her newfound acquaintence had given her questions. Besides, she was getting tired as well. She might as well go sleep. Hope looked toward the dark Warrior's Den, and shuddered inwardly. How dismal! She decided to curl up, remaining where she was. Slowly, the she-cat sank to the sandy floor. Within moments, her eyes were closed.